Team Whammo and the Blast from the Past

Having been hurtled through millions of particles of star-dust by a cosmic hurricane, sending Team Turbo 'awhammo-ing far beyond the Guster Cluster, where Team Whammo had just finished kicking some major ass ( and by kicking it, I mean gettin' some! ), and taking in all the good vibrations and 'giggidy-giggidy' giddiness that comes with the territory, that is and was the Guster effect, being a jolt of super-charged electrons from a proton blast of epic proportions culminating in supernova from rocking so hard that it hurt, and yet managing to keep the cosmic bed fairly well intact, Benito had discovered the infamous 'Backstage Pass' by opening up millions and millions of Guster Cluster chocolate bars, finally to discover the one and only which contained the magic white-chocolate. Oh, ev'n that creamy goodness which passes over the tongue like a school of dolphins jumping over the moon in one's mouth and then coming back for more, but not before the self-same liquor has been found and swigs taken all round! Unfortunately for Team Whammo, that state of euphoria was not to last, and so they crashed... into the moon.

Benito: "Cap'n, where the hell are we?"

Captain: "You're on the far side of the galaxy, Benito. hehehe... Just a moment, I'm calculating your coordinates now."

Benito: "Roger that. Turbo, where the hell are you?!"

Admiral Nelson: "They fell into a bog, Benito."

Benito: "Ooh, what happened?"

Admiral Nelson: "Yeah, Colonel DeSantis and I saw 'em go down. Nasty. Turbo and the First-mate were last seen crashing into a dense part of the jungle. We think they crashed and fell into a bog. We haven't heard from 'em since. But Turbo did tell us that the First-mate's ejector seat mal-functioned and sent her hurtling into a coco-nut tree.

Benito: "Ouch! Those coco-nuts sure do pack a punch! Where were Brad and Laura when we needed them? They're supposed to be good at the swoop, catch, and lay scenario.

Colonel DeSantis: "I can help you on that one, Benito. They've just completed an extended tour of the Canadalia system en route to the other side of the galaxy, which some call the "West Side", but also known more colloquially as the home of the late-great ghetto super-stars of our time. In other words, they've gone AWOL.

Benito: "They've gone galactic, aye?"

Colonel DeSantis: "Yep. Oh, the Turbo drive is kicking in. That can only mean one thing...

Team Whammo: Ka-dunk-ah-dunk, Turbo's back!

Benito: Sweeeet. Captain! [on the communicator] What news?

Captain: Well, it took some geometrical and hyper-galactic triangulation, but I finally found you, Benito. You're on the Emerald Isle, a habitable meteor on a remote part of the star-system known as Midd Clusters. Now, if you can get to the nearby moon known as 'Bedrock's coco-pebbles', that would be great and from which point I can beem y'all out of there. I'd come down there myself, but I don't like chocolate.

Benito: Right. Thanx, Cap'n. We'll relay our position from the far side of the moon.

Captain: Copy that. over n out.

While the rest of Team Whammo make themselves comfortable on the island, laying together on the beach as Chew-micca begins weaving a rough hammoc, Benito goes to climb a coco-nut tree. Glancing behind it, he finds something.

Benito: "Why, hello. Looks like we've found something, boys!

Steph: "I'm a Smurf."

Benito: "Right, and I'm Benito Mussolini."

Steph: "I talk to smurrels."

Benito: "Oh my, it really is a smurf. Yo, chek it! I found a cute lil' Smurf, you guys!

Steph: "I am fluent in over two-hundred forms of verbal and non-verbal communication.

Benito: "Rowrrr. Wait a... it's a Fem-bot! Quick, lend me my boomerang!

(Benito whips out his boomerang.)

Admiral Nelson: "Wait, no, that's not a Fem-bot. That's Steph the Friendly Smurf!

Benito: "Oh, sorry. Well, you can never be too careful around the Midd Clusters. They tend to bunch up and stick to your teeth, and then you have a real dental case on your hands! Nah, we could use another Communications Officer. Commander Kane, welcome aboard! Now, if we could just get our hands on a ship...

Colonel DeSantis: "I got Turbo on the line! Yo, Benito's landed!

Turbo (on the far-side of the moon): Benitooooooo!

Benito (grabbing the communicator): Guess what, Turbo?

Turbo: What's good, my brotha?

Benito: We got ourselves a new Commando! Commando Kane, the friendly Smurf.

Turbo (emerging from the bushes with the First-mate on his shoulders and helping himself to some Booza-hol from the haul of the destroyed ship's cabin cupboard): What's that, Benito? You're going commando? haha. Yeah, let's set the beat!

Turbo begins removing Benito's shirt, as Em turns on some "Sexy Back" and everyone de-robes. Nick, on the other hand, starts getting his freak on, moving back-to-back with Turbo.

Benito (after a few moves on the dance floor): That's all very flattering, but I was referring to...

Benito gesticulates toward Steph the Friendly Smurf, who has woven some of Chew-micca's leaves together into a hoola-skirt and has begun performing a 'luu-ow'.

Nick: Whammo!

Turbo (raising his flagon): To Whammo!

Benito: Here we go again...

Steph makes like a smurf and starts giggling behind the coco-nut tree.

Turbo: All together now!
Team Whammo: "It's Whammo; it's whammo....."

Stay tuned for another adventure from the Adventures of Team Whammo, and see how Team Turbo tackles this tricky situation in... Team Whammo and the Flight to the Far Side of the Moon!