Sweating the Sweet outta Sweetness

So, where in the world is Benito? Where, pray tell, is that masked crusader? Wait, I think I see something... in the sky. It's a bird, no, maybe it's a plane, no... it's Benito 'Whammo' Powers!! and he's in hot pursuit of that Kiwi5000. "Wow, I wish I could get as good coverage!" exclaimed Admiral Nelson. "Hey, what about the BananaBoat?" responded H.T. looking crest-fallen beside the rest of Team Whammo. "It appears to be wilting, H.T." said Colonel DeSantis. Team Whammo turned their heads, one-by-one, and stared at the BananaBoat2000. Fruit-flies were swarming and it had turned a filthy color, something like a hue of "Firestone" tires. "Well, I'll be!" exclaimed H.T. [Meanwhile, high above them...]

"Yooooo." "What good, Fellatio?" asked Benito, plunging is bright, flashy Whammo-ing spoon deep into the soft underside of the Kiwi5000. "Shlllllop." "Mmmmm" thought Benito, "Dat's some good kiwi flava!" The hairy, outer-hull and husk of the Kiwi5000 was quite sensitive and Dr.Felllatio could feel the spoon's effect from deep inside over his communicator's loud-speaker, which he had had the misfortune to place on "High Volume". "What, in the name of the Holy Bung-Hole is that?" wondered Dr.Felllatio outloud. "Um, I think Benito's trying to shpoon us", said ProfBackdoor. "He ish shpooning ush, you blishtering idiot!" exclaimed Dr.Felllatio, raising his voice. "Only trying to help, sir. You don't need to shout. We are flying in a giant Kiwi, afterall." "And maybe you enjoy getting a spoonful of juicy kiwi up the ass, ProfBackdoor, but I certainly do NOT!" responded an irate Dr. Felllatio. "Well" he said again, collecting himself. "I do fancy a sour, Kiwi-flavored condom... BUT that is only on special occasions (!), such as the Coming of the Kiwi from a lowly kiwi-shed on Kiwi-mas with bananas and pineapples standing by..." -- "Oh, well, I don't take too well to those Mystery-fruit celebrations..." muttered ProfBackdoor. "Just because you haven't seen the Coming of the Kiwi for yourself, doesn't give you the right to... oooooohh!" And Dr. Felllatio takes one in the ass. "Holy shit!" said ProfBackdoor, "You really took one up the ass, there!"

Dr. Felllatio: "Ooohhhh...."

Prof. Backdoor: "Hey, you're having all the fun! I wanna get some kiwi action my... ooohhhhh."

And another spoon breaks through the kiwi's inner-core, if kiwi's had 'inner-cores', but who's counting... Dr. Felllatio and ProfBackdoor feel the juices of the kiwi seeping in from all sides as their heads wipe up against the sides of the Kiwi5000. "Oooohhhh" they utter with glee. Felllatio is getting a particularly good workout as he goes 'Balls of Fury' style on the kiwi's inner-core. Then, Benito's head emerges as he has eaten through the kiwi's outer-layer to the inside of the Kiwi5000. "Mmmmmm, mmmmmmm, good." says Benito, making Dr. Felllatio and Prof. Backdoor eat their own ways to the outside of the KiwiBoat. "Ahhhh," squeeled Prof. Backdoor, "My eye-lids are stuck together!" "Too bad your tongue's so small!" said Dr. Felllatio, licking off the gooey substance with delight, and enjoying the view from above. But it does not last, for half of the Kiwi5000 is eaten up quick in short order by Benito, and thereby do the aerodynamics of the Kiwi5000 change and shift such that up becomes down. Dr. Felllatio and his faithful Prof. Backdoor, behind him all the way, are now hanging upside down in mid-air at 'zero-G's and Benito is saying "Surfs up!" as he cruises toward the moon's surface again in an epic landing. One, two, three times: what is left of the Kiwi5000 skims against the liquidy surface, but finally hits against a large yellow object, and sliding against lots of large, square pieces of ice and large-ish bubbles as they all come to splashy conclusion in the sweet red lake. Benito licks his lips as Dr. Felllatio and Prof. Backdoor struggle mightily to free their heads. He exclaims, "Why, this isn't the moon! It seems we've landed in the punch!"

Next time, on the Adventures of Team Whammo:
DO IT YOURSELF RECIPES: "How to make a wicked Whammo punch!"
Brought to you by "Mini-Bartender", the edition sponsored and signed by Team Whammo!