Chapter III: Journey to the Dark Side

DrFelllati0937: Omg! I wish you were nearby, Prof. Backdoor. I'm having some major difficulties with this bottle of wine.

ProfBakDor0928: Holy COW! That is such a coincidence. I was just hoping to have a bottle of white with my dinner downstairs.

DrFelllati037: ProfBack, you weren't just about to get your sexy back downstairs, now, were you? You know, we don't play like that, player!

ProfBakDor0928: I know, but those dark spaces really turn me on! It's like so bft 60's, especially with all the black-light posters we got going on down there.

DrFelllati0937: Well, aren't you just a 'lil SSE! I could just put you in a 'lil sauce and fry you with shishkabobs!

ProfBakDor0928: Oh, Doc, you know that the kabobs don't taste half as decent without the special sauce!

DrFelllati0937: You mean, the soy saucy sauce? That somekind of speciall sauce which melts all around the inside of the mouth and then goes toward a drippy conclusion, the likes of which Whammo, for better or worse, will be a conglomeration of the most hyperbolic state gooo-ey pleasure the likes of which this galaxy has ne'er seen in...

{BEEP!} "You have reached your cell-phone's character-limit."

(Together) Muhaha. Muhahahaha. Muuuuuhahaha! Muuuhahaaahaaa {BEEP!}



ASTROSTARWHAMMOPWRS0237: yOU GUYS ARE IDIOTS!

DrFelllati0937: What? How did he get this number?

ProfBakDor0928: He must have hacked onto the computer mainframe VIA satellite, sir.

ASTROSTARWHAMMOPWRS0237: Haha. Whammo!

DrFelllati0937: Alright. ttyl, BakDor.

ProfBakDor0928: Peace out.

At that moment, there is a sound of shattering ice from high above Dr. Felllatio's evil harem of Hell as Benito breaks through, though he experiences a little trouble due to his parachute which gets caught on some of the ice above. Resourceful as ever, Benito cuts himself free with his mini-laser watch and descends to the metal floor without so much as a scratch.

Benito: "No, you peace out!"

Prof. Backdoor: How could he tell what I was texting?

Benito: Easy, I read your dirty, little mind. I may be young with the 'whammo', but I'm still not a bad mind-reader, when push comes to shove. You could well use a mind-reader on your side, I wager.

Dr. Felllatio: We'll put you to the challenge, Benito. If you want to join us, you've got to first defeat Austen 'Whammo' Pwers in hand-to=hand combat.

Benito: C'mon, Pwers. Let's see what you got!

Austen: Oh, Benito. How young you are with the whammo, compared to Austen 'Whammo' Pwers!!

{A brawl then takes place between Benito and Powers. Austen's powers then being weaker after experiencing the torture Of IM instant-messaging and dr. felllatio's text messages, does not fare as well as when his Whammo powers were up to speed. Benito pins him in a half-Nelson on the floor, sticking his face in Felllatio's birthday cake}

Dr. Felllatio: Easy on the cake there, Benito.

Benito: What're you going to do about it, then?

Dr. Felllatio: Challenge you to a game of Soduku.

Benito: Alright, you're on! [Game of Soduku ensues and Benito loses miserably.]

Benito (to Team Whammo): I need back-up!
Alright, Dr. Felllatio, you won at Soduku, but that is a game worthy of dogs who chew the morning papers for breakfast. How about two out of three? This time we'll play a game of my choice: Tic-Tac-Toe!

Dr. Felllatio: Fine. Bring it, Benito! [This game ends in a stale-mate.]
While you may be stronger in the Whammo these days, Benito, it seems you lack staying power!

Benito: Enough! I challenge you to a head-to-head bout of Dance, Dance Revolution!

Dr. Felllatio, in his pride, and thinking that he's still in the 60's or something, does not turn down the challenge. Just as they are about to start on the super-duper fast, mix-it-up section, Team Whammo arrives, crashing through the rest of the ceiling as Benito hits his Star Power. Coming to a crash landing, Team Whammo rolls out of the BANANA Boat in their hoola-skirts and Steph the Friendly Smurf immediately runs over to help Benito as they combine their Whammo-ing powers on the dance pad, picking up a double score! Prof. Back Door tries to back-up his partners, but to no avail. Team Whammo then takes a crate of banana peels from the boat's disposal unit, dumping it on top of Austen to bring his Whammo powers back to their senses. With Austen's powers restored, the balence of Whammo is restored to the galaxy, and there was much rejoicing. "What happened to Dr. Felllatio?" asked Colonel DeSantis after all the excitement had died down on the dark side of the moon. "I thought I could pick up a trick or two..."

"The took off in the giant kiwi!" boomed the Captain's voice from somewhere undetermined, perhaps near the ceiling. And so was Team Turbo left to wonder, but Benito didn't wait around long enough to find out. "peace out!" reflected Benito, and flew off on another adventure .

Next Time in the Adventures of Team Whammo... Beating back the urge to Whammo!